vegetable wars

vegetable wars is a book i am writing. chapter 12 isn’t finished yet if you’re wondering that. i will put it on as soon as i finish it

chapter 11

Chapter 11

The story of the three triplets

Once upon a time a lady had 3 triplets. Now 2 of those triplets wanted to rule the world when they grew up the other one just wanted to live in peace. One day the third triplet heard the other two triplets talking about getting him out of the way like in the movies. Anyway the third triplet was very scared and he ran off. The other 2 triplets were disappointed. They had only wanted to throw him into a bottomless pit of doom. Was that really that bad? Anyway the third triplet was rumored to have gone into a cave and drink something that caused him to forget who he was. But that was just a rumor it probably isn’t real at all. Anyway the other 2 triplets as you might have guessed are Biggabooboo and Bonka-Bonka. Now think about who you think might be the third triplet that we know. Think of someone with a weird name. All eyes turned to Gugaguga king of spices. Why are you all looking at me like that? You are the third triplet! Everyone yelled excitedly. Why because of my weird name? You’re crazier than that acorn over there. Actually you’re nuts! The rumor must be true! Yelled an orange. He doesn’t know who he is! Cried a banana. Or maybe he isn’t the third triplet! Yelled Larry. You’re nuts cried the acorn. No you are. Does Biggabooboo look like a spice to you? No he’s, I don’t know he doesn’t look like anything to me he just looks like a big fat macaroni thing without holes on it and bonka-bonka is an even FATTER one! said the acorn. Cough cough. Coughed the acorn oh by the way. Said Bou There is a prophecy that says that the third triplet followed by a strange army and a faithful apple and pear and a brilliant tomato and a stupid piece of broccoli Will destroy the evil 2^nd and 3^rd triplet and bring peace to foodonia. The faithful apple is me and the pear is Arou and the brilliant tomato is Larry and the stupid piece of broccoli is Ernie. What did you just call me? A stupid broccoli piece? Yes said Bou. Oh I thought you called me a dumb broccoli piece never mind. Stupid does mean smartest person in the world right? Yep said Bou. OK and brilliant means dumb right? Yep said Bou not listening. Hey! Yelled Larry What? Said Bou. You said that brilliant meant dumb! What are you talking about? Said Bou. Never mind, can I take a look at that prophecy? Sure!

An army led by 6 shall destroy an army of thousands the leaders of 2 kingdoms must unite. 2 outlaws

From the vegetable kingdom and the great one known as pasta! The 3 triplets will unite! And only 2 of

them will live to see another day. One of the 6 will die. No one knows why. He will die of mysterious causes.

Even the kings may die. The 6 leaders are the king of fruits the king of spices too and also their should be

Stupid broccoli and a brilliant tomato and also there are 2 very loyal fruits too! They must go alone but one

Will die! And the world will be safe.

For now!

Kind of grim poem don’t you think? I quite agree but why do us 6 have to go alone? Said Arou I don’t know. Said Bou. Maybe we have to be captured and go in the castle and escape and kill Biggabooboo in the process. But what is this only 2 will live to see another day part about? Will the 3^rd triplet die? I mean there are 2 leaders there but maybe it means… wait a minute there’s more fancy writing! Said Ernie

It says…

One of the 6 will have powers untold his magic has he learned in times of old. Descended from the great

magician Croblico! Croblico .

“Croblico! You mean that great magician guy that saved all of foodonia! I hope it’s me that is his descendant,” said Bou.

“Don’t be ridiculous! He wasn’t a fruit, he was a vegetable!” said Larry.

“How do you know that!?” said Arou.

“I looked it up in the dictionary!” said Larry.

“Ha!” said that acorn guy. “You’re nuts! He was a nut!”

“Haa” said that guy that couldn’t spell correctly. “Hee wath ah spise!”

“QUIET!” yelled Gugaguga the people who wrote the prophecy wouldn’t have wrote it unless they wanted us to find out along the way! No one talked for 5 minutes. So aren’t we supposed to go on a journey or something? For the prophecy? Said Larry. Yep well let’s go. Said bou. Wait a minute where’s Ernie?

chapter 10

chapter 10 Arou’s story

Arou! What are you doing here!I thought that you… When the giant green hand grabbed me I thought I was a goner too! I even fainted! When I woke up, I was in a weird factory with this green gooey stuff in these sciency looking containers that you only see in movies. I also saw many other fruits and vegetables. When I tried to get up I found that I was strapped to a very comfortable bed. At the time I had no idea what was going on. I heard a scream from somewhere. Followed by a “please stop!” at the time I thought everyone was getting tortured but what was happening was much much worse. Suddenly two mutated pieces of broccoli grabbed me and carried me to a room in it there was a sink a toothbrush and dome toothpaste. I thought that whoever was there was a “brush your teeth” freak. I have never known anyone to brush their teeth. Little did I know that was the reason I was their. So a fruit dares to venture to the forest of mutated broccoli. Well I guess it is time we tested this on a fruit although I wish you had caught the triplet that was never found but I guess this pear will do. Take him to…. THE SINK!!!!!!!! No anywhere but that! I pleaded but the mutated broccoli pieces were merciless. It was like a nightmare that came true I was forced to brush my teeth! Wait Arou you don’t have teeth said Bou. Yes I do! I thought and thought of a way to escape but there wasn’t any way to do it! Suddenly I had an idea! I just brushed my teeth! I yelled. Really? Asked the mutated broccoli. Yes I did. Well then we’ll just have to let you go. But first you must eat pie! Muahahahahahahahahah !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok I said. So I ate pie. Then they just let me go. Weird. Yeah why would anyone want to find the third triplet that was never found? Wondered Arou. I don’t even know anything about that story. Said an apple you’ve never heard of the story of the triplets? No I don’t think I did. Well we’ll just have to tell you. It all started like this…

chapter 9

Chapter 9

The war of many deaths

“arg fhd fkg tu?” said Bonka-Bonka in a language.

“Well, wherever they came from they came to die!” said Biggabooboo.

But after Biggabooboo said that, TONS more spices and fruits appeared!

“We have come to defeat you, Biggabooboo!” said a voice. Everyone turned and looked at who had said that, and it turned out that the person who said that was long and thin, and wore a black cape and a mask. Yes, that person was the Pastaman!

“Dun dun dun!!” said some weirdo in the large group.

“You! I have finally found you!! Today will be the day of your death!!” said Biggabooboo.

“I will not die today or tomorrow or yesterday but you will!!”

Well prove it. I will. said the Pastaman Attack !!! Biggabooboo and the Pastaman said in unison. Then came the biggest war in all of foodonia. The war began in 1228 and ended in 1238 so the war lasted for ten long years. They fought and fought and more and more people were killed. It is such a terrible battle that I cannot describe how terrible it was. Finally Biggabooboo and BonkaBonka said muahahahahahahahahahaha and disappeared. Then Bigabooboo’s army said muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha and disappeared. Everyone except one acorn who couldn’t say Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha because he had laryngitis. So he could only say muahahahahahahahahahahacoughhahahahacoughcoughha . Look a prisoner! Bou said. acorn, tell us how bigabooboo escaped. He escaped by saying muahahahahahahahacoughhahahahahacoughcoughhachha

and he went to… aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! A flying grapelike squirrel! Run for your lives! The squirrel jumped on the acorns head and bopped him on the bean. Bou grabbed the squirrel and gave it to someone to eat. Well we’d better… WAIT!!! Someone yelled that person was none other than Arou!

chapter 8

Chapter 8

The Spice Kingdom

“The spice kingdom? I am not familiar with this kingdom. Are you?” said Larry.

“No, I don’t think I am.”

“Well, let’s talk to that resident over there.”

So they went to the weird looking food.

“Hey you, where are we?”

“Wel u ar att te spise kindum.”

“I don’t think he is a good speller because he misspelled a lot of words,” whispered Larry.

“Ar u viciters?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Wel folou mee.”

So they followed the strange looking food to the castle. On their way they saw many other strange foods. They came to the throne room. On the throne sat a jalapeno pepper.

“O gret kin Gugaguga, I haf fownd these vicitors. They apeer too bee fejtabls and froots,” said the weird food.

“Why have you come here?” asked the great king Gugaguga.

“We have come to escape the great king Biggabooboo and Bonka-Bonka.”

“Ah-ha! So where is your leader?” asked king Gugaguga.

“He’s right here. Pastaman! Pastaman, where are you? He must have left.

“Well, we need to destroy king Biggabooboo and Bonka-Bonka so the world can live in peace,” said the random weirdo.

“Well, we will help you destroy the evil Biggabooboo, and restore peace to this world,” said king Gugaguga. “But where are these Biggabooboo and Bonka-Bonka?”

“They are on the other side of the forest,” said Larry.

“Ah. Then we will take the shortcut!”

“What’s the shortcut?”

“Everyone here say ‘oof’.”

“What kind of shortcut is ‘oof’, anyway?” asked Ernie. But then instantly after Ernie and Gugaguga said “oof”, they vanished. “Ok, everyone say “oof”. NOW!”

Then everyone said “oof”. Everyone disappeared. They all appeared outside of the forest., face to face with king Biggabooboo and Bonka-Bonka’s army.

“This can’t be good,” said Larry.

chapter 7

Chapter 7

The forest of mutated broccoli

“The forest of mutated broccoli? Do you mean that HUGE forest with giant mutant broccoli that everyone who has entered it never returned?”

“Yep, that’s the one,” said Bou.

“AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!” everyone except Ernie yelled.

“What’s so bad about that?” said Ernie. “I LIKE broccoli.”

“Really? I thought you only ate squash,” said Larry.

“Well I am a piece of broccoli.”

“YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!” everyone cheered. Broccoli would never dare attack broccoli or people with it. Or would they?

Then out of nowhere a giant piece of broccoli jumped onto one of the boats. The boat began to sink. The people on the boat jumped to another one.

Ernie stared into the mutated broccoli’s eyes and said clearly “Leave them alone and go eat king Biggabooboo.

“O………..K…..” said the hypnotized mutated broccoli. The mutated broccoli headed towards the fruit kingdom.

“How did you do that?” asked Bou.

“Well, my dad taught me how to hypnotize people.”

“Why didn’t you use it on king Biggaboobooo?” asked Larry.

“I never thought about doing that,” said Ernie.

Then all of a sudden a giant green hand appeared and grabbed Arou.

“Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help!”

“No! Arou!” But it was too late. Arou was gone. Forever.

“Well now what?” said Ernie.

“Well according to my calculations that giant piece of broccoli is going to attack again. So we better be prepared.”

“Get the guns ready!” roared Bou.

“What’s a gun?” asked Ernie.

“I have no idea,” said Bou. “I just wanted to say that. Well anyway I am going to invent a weapon.”

“Ok,” said Larry, “go ahead and do that. Mutated pieces of broccoli straight ahead.”

“Do they know we’re here?” said a random weirdo.

“Gasp! It’s a random weirdo!”

“I guess I am the evil random weirdo except I’m not evil.”

“Oh good.”

“Did you do your shopping?” said the random weirdo.

“Yeah. Anyway they don’t know we’re here.”

“Good because I have a plan!!” said the random weirdo. “Any trees?”

“Yeah we put an entire tree on the boat earlier.”

“Why?” asked a banana.

“Because pssssssssst psssssssssssssst pssssssst.”

“Ohhhh, I see.”

So the banana and weirdo went below deck.

“What are they doing?” asked Larry.

“I don’t care because I’m testing out my new invention,” said Bou.

“You’re done with the invention?”

“Yep.”

“What will you call it?”

“I will call it the catapult.”

“Hey! That’ll work perfectly!” said the random weirdo.

So they loaded the catapult and shot at the mutated piece of broccoli. The mutated piece of broccoli was killed instantly.

Then they saw something they never saw before. Something that didn’t look a vegetable or any kind of food they ever saw. And behind it was a HUGE castle. And a sign said “Welcome to the Spice kingdom.”

chapter 6

Chapter 6: The fruit kingdom

“Where are we?” said Larry.

“No clue,” said Ernie.

A minute later, Bou and Arou appeared out of nowhere.

“Wow, you just appeared out of nowhere!” exclaimed Larry.

“Yeah, I guess we did,” said Arou. “Anyway, I am Arou, and he is Bou.”

“Hi Arrow and Bow,” said Ernie.

“It is spelled B-o-u, and Arou’s name is spelled A-r-o-u.”

“No it isn’t! It’s spelled B-o-w, and Arou’s name is spelled A-r-o-w-w,” said Ernie.

“Oh never mind,” said Bou. “We need to get to the Pastaman.”

“The Whoman?” asked Larry.

“The Pastaman,” said Bou. “He lives at the castle.” “What castle?” “The one right over their.”

On their way to the castle, Larry and Ernie noticed that everyone was a fruit.

“Where are we?” said Larry.

“We’re at the Fruit Kingdom!!!” said Arou.

“The slootdom?” said Ernie.

“The fruit kingdom,” corrected Bou.

They kept on walking when they finally got to the castle. They went to the throne room.

“Hi! I am the king’s servant,” said some weird banana. “What do you want?”

Bou said, “Well weird banana, the great Pastaman told us to rescue Larry and Ernie.

“Oh yeah, I remember,” said Arou.

“Well anyway, we rescued them, so what do we do with them?” asked Bou.

“Well, I’ll take them for now,” said the weird banana.

When Bou and Arou left, the weird banana said, “MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- HAHAHAHA!!!!!” I am king Biggabooboo’s servant!! And I’m going to eat you!!!”

“Oh dear,” Ernie and Larry said at the same time.

Luckily the weirdo was so loud that everyone in the castle heard him. Then everyone came and tackled him and put him in jail.

“That was a close one,” said Ernie.

“Yep,” said Larry.

Bou and Arou came back.

“Well anyway,” said Bou, “where are the enemies attacking?”

“Well,” said the king’s servant, “they are attacking from the north, and they are lead by the king Biggabooboo’s brother.”

“Do you mean…” started an orange.

“Yes. King Bonkabonka.”

“Who is he?” said Larry and Ernie in unison.

“He is the nut of nuts. The king of THE NUT KINGDOM!!”

“Oh,” said Larry and Ernie in unison.

“You mean one of the triplets?” said Larry.

“Yes,” said Bou.

“We need a new place to hide,” said a banana.

“I’ll say you do,” said a very familiar voice.

“It’s King Bigabooboo!!!”

“The army is here, and so am I and my brother.”

“Run to the river!!”

So everyone ran to the river and got on boats.

“The current is carrying us to the forest of mutated broccoli!!!!!!!”

chapter 5

Chapter 5: something exciting-ish

As soon as Larry and Ernie ate the doughnuts, they went to the castle. They said to the guard, “Hi! We are people who are wanted! Can we see the king?”

The guard thought they said, “Hi! We are some of the kings’ friends. Can we see the king?” “Sure,” he said. “Follow me.”

The Guard led them to the Evil bigabooboo’s throne room. When they got there, the great king Bigabooboo said, “At last! Now we have the stupid Ernie & the smart (but not quite as smart as me) Larry.”

“Huh?” said Ernie.

“Take them to the executioning room!”

Some fruits were listening in on the conversation.

“What are we going to do?” said the apple.

“Wait for a bird with a letter to come,” said the pear.

“That’s the stupidest thing I ever heard,” said the apple.

But sure enough a bird with a letter came. The letter said:

Dear Bou and Arou

We’re under attack! Get back to the Fruit Kingdom as fast as possible!

Sincerely

The Pastaman.

Meanwhile, Larry and Ernie were in big trouble.

“What are we going to do?” cried Ernie.

“Let’s listen to what the guards are saying,” suggested Larry.

The squash guards were standing outside the jail cell.

“Do you know where the keys are?” said one guard.

“I think I left it in the cell where that tomato and that broccoli are. Isn’t that where they’re supposed to be?”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Where’d you put it in the cell, though?”

“I put it right next to the window.”

“Good idea.”

So Larry went to the window and took the key. He unlocked the cell, and said to the guards, “um, we have to go to the bathroom.”

“OK,” said the guards. “Go right ahead.”

Unluckily, Larry and Ernie ran into King Biggabooboo.

“WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING OUT OF YOUR CELL?!” he yelled.

“We have to go to the bathroom,” said Ernie.

“I’m not falling for that old trick!” said King Biggabooboo.

“We really do!” insisted Ernie.

“Get back to your — OOF!” An apple and a pear broke a hole in the wall and landed on top of King Biggabooboo.

“Quick! Grab hold of that vine that just appeared out of nowhere and swing out that hole in the wall!”

“But I have to go to the bathroom!” said Ernie.

“Who cares? You’ll have to wait till later!”

“Fine,” said Ernie.

So they grabbed hold of the vine, and they swung into another dimension. Just kidding. Unluckily, they said “oof” and fell all the way down into a well.

When they got back out they were somewhere else.

chapter 4

Chapter 4: The Evil Store Clerk

Ernie went into the supermarket and got some doughnuts and went to the store clerk.

The store clerk said, “I need to put some stuff in these doughnuts, because, uh…uh…um…I forgot to put sugar in them.”

“Sure! Go right on ahead!” said Ernie.

So the store clerk just sort of put in ‘Make you go to the King Poison’. “Here you go,” he said. “Now! Give me the money!”

“O-okay, here’s five dollars,” Ernie said as he gave the store clerk some money. Then Ernie left.

“Do you want your change?” said the store clerk.

chapter 3

Chapter 3: Evil Land

When they got to Evil Land, they figured out that the Evil Biggabooboo was the king of this land, and he told everybody to kill them, or at least bring them over to him so he could eat them, and they would be rewarded with all the vegetables they could eat (which, of course, were his guards), and then, later, he would eat the person who ate his guards, but he didn’t put it in the advertisement.

A squash found Larry, and threw a net over him. Then he said,

“MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I am evil! And soon I will eat the king’s guards!”

“Oh dear, I’m gonna die,” said Larry.

And then some weirdo who looked like a broccoli jumped down and stabbed the squash in the head with a knife. The weirdo, who was smart for once, was Ernie.

They ate the squash (Because remember they eat squash if you don’t remember that you’re a weirdo).

Anyway some other random weirdo came and said to get in the oven.

Larry jumped into the oven (you’ll find out why in a minute), and Ernie grabbed Larry and said, “I just remembered I have to go shopping.”

Now do you wanna know why Larry jumped into the oven?

Well, there was this ‘Super Make Smart People Stupid Ray 2000’ that was pointing at Ernie and Larry. As soon as they got out of the ray, they weren’t stupid anymore. So you should understand why Ernie wasn’t going to go in there, because he remembered what happened last time.

“Uh…Ernie…why are we heading for the supermarket?”

“Because I told the random weirdo that I had to go shopping, so that’s what we’re doing.”

“You’re so stupid I’m changing the course,” said Larry.

“But I need a doughnut.”

“Oh, fine! Get your dead baby doughnut! But follow these rules: One: if anyone stares at you suspiciously, run out of the shop and two: get one for me too.”

“Sure,” said Ernie who wasn’t listening.

“Do you want to hear what I said again?”

“Sure,” said Ernie.

“Okay. Follow these rules: One: if anyone stares at you suspiciously, run out of the shop and two: get one for me too. Do you want to hear what I said again?”

“No, of course not,” said Ernie. “What makes you think I’d want to hear it again?”